I AM aware that I would actually have to blog, you know, more than once a year to call myself a blogger.

It’s November 1st though, and if I want to do the annual NaBloPoMo thing I have to start today. I am not committing to posting more than today. I just, you know, HAVE TO blog today otherwise it doesn’t work.

My current plan is to try to blog once each day, but not necessarily here. Sometimes here. Maybe just this time. Then sometimes on the business site. Then sometimes – most importantly – on a site that no one but me has access to but I really, really, really, really need to get over my giant block and JUST WRITE ON. I can decide if it goes live later. I just need to write.

This year has been… hard. Only, for no reason. More accurately I suppose I’ve felt stuck.

I spent much of the year waiting. I spent the year feeling whatever the opposite of invincible is. Mostly, I spent it hiding in a hole for no real reason and wondering how to get out of it again.

Now, it’s November, and I realize I’ve been hiding for almost a year.

I wrote a post in February… and then I hid it because it put too much out there. As it is, I’m not invisible here, but I am human. So be it.

2009 was a great year, and I was scared that 2010 could never live up. So, instead of trying, I hid and did much of nothing. Status quo. Bury my head until it’s over.

Well, now it’s nearly over and I was right – it didn’t live up. Can’t imagine why.

Needless to say, doing nothing gets you nowhere. Nowhere further. Nowhere better. Nowhere at all, really. So now, while I’m still battling the continual urge to hide, I’m going to get out to play again.

I thought I was invincible and I thought I could do everything. Good way to set yourself up for failure. I’m still a lot more invincible than I feel, and I can do a lot more than I’m currently allowing myself to believe. Right now I’m fighting the battle of telling myself that there’s no point to do anything because it’s all been done/being done/everyone else is better. I know how ridiculous that sounds when I type it. Trust me.

I am absolutely positively excellent at helping other people see what they need to do and see how they can improve and be better and how to make more money and how to kick ass and how to do anything at all. I’m so, so good at that. That I can own.

But myself?

Not so much.

So – for today – I write here. I’ll probably be back, in my 30 days of writing in random places.

I have a good feeling about this month.

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